无能为力

电话里你说你始终无法成眠
过去的点点滴滴总是浮现在眼前
当这段感情已成为过眼云烟
你还是无法说服自己接受这一切

当彼此都清楚已经无力挽回
总要有人鼓起勇气开口说再见
这一路走来我们都觉得好累
也许真的应该停下来好好歇一回
你怪我无情也好负心也好
骂我也好打我也好
至少我让你难过得心安理得就好
对于你的心情我真的无能为力
因为我还没有决定要怎么安顿我自己
对于你的处境我真的无能为力
我想没有人会相信其实我比你更伤心

let me do abit of update.. went for a movie, Love Wrecked, with Jing on sat before meeting the rest to catch ting's play.. mate.. great job.. enjoyed it totally... laughed till i teared.. headed down to esplandae for supper before going to alternative for a drink.. went down to the Nissan showroom on sun to sign my documents before meeting Jolyn, Nicole and her frens for cycling/blading at East Coast Park... fun... shall do it again some time soon... after which went to Century Square to catch 'Snakes On A Plane' with Chris and Serene and then KTV in town... i'm dead beat... sleeping at 6am on fri, 5am on sat and 4am on sun and now i'm still awake... i'm falling sick soon... feeling feverish and i have been sneezing for the past 3 days... BBQ at downtown east tmr... please let me fall sick after tmr...

oh ya... heard the funniest thing just now... a woman went into Mac and ordered ZA CAI FAN... Lolx... pengz...

long day today.. just got home from geylang.. rush down to marina square to watch "The Break Up" with xiu, peizhi and leng after work... great show... gives me some thoughts after watching it though i was enduring my emotions at some parts of the show... i guess i gave my all for the relationship and there is nothing more that i can provide anymore... its time to let go...nothing for me to hold on anymore... i'm really sick of the kind of life i have been living for the past 3 months... nothing i have done has really made me happy... 我要找回我自己。不要在被玩弄。不會在對你留戀。

headed down bukit timah to look for the group for supper... so damn full!! after which to starbucks at liat tower... before going to mustafa centre (my virgin trip there) and lastly geylang for soya bean... took lotsa photos!! Pau... gonna miss u man!! hopefully can see u again before u leave...







i dunno how to align the photos so person on the right is always cut off... unfortunately, that person always turns out to be farah... hahaha!! sorry!!

Mione called me today!! My COE is successful and my car is here!! should be able to get my Marchie by mid Sep... Yippie!! i can't wait... but that also means that will be the start of my nightmare... no more eating good food.. lesser drinks and smoke... in summary... no more fun... slog slog slog... sell my life to Merck...

i'm losing my mind....
losing control of myself....
everything is messed up....
dunno who i am anymore...
i dun like the kind of life i'm living at the moment...
can someone take me away from this dark hole....
i need help...
argh.........

just got home... down lotsa chivas and beer tonight... finally get to see him... the moment i dread coming true staring right before my eyes... the moment i have been avoiding all these while... that instant felt like someone ripping my heart out... i felt like screaming... held back my emotions till now when i can finally pour it out... more drinks for the weekend ahead..... drown me......

been an emotional past 2 days.... all that's left between me and her is just by a phone line... and my phone just died on me... it just refuses to be switched on.... maybe its a sign telling me something?? it might come at a good time too... i'll be uncontactable.. guess its time for a break... time to reflect... a longer reflection time if the phone is beyond repair.... i wun consider getting a new one or rather i dun have the ability to.... so goodbye for now...

just got home... great fun last night... sort some thoughts out on my way home... things are much clearer now or rather it has always been there but i din or choose not to notice .. guess i'm going back to sleep so i'll skip the details.... Zzzzz....

went for blood donation after work today with hui xian... but my iron level failed me!!! 11.8mg/l... passing mark 12mg/l... sob sob... was anticipating to donate my first pack of blood... but.. sigh.. just that 0.2mg/l... y must be so stingy??? but i was glad that mine failed... cos hui xian failed hers too... wahahahah... i dun wanna donate alone on my first time... oh well... at least i donated 1 drop of blood to the rubbish bin when checking for my iron level... consolation... yeah! ding dong.. lack of sleep... zzzzz.......

went to visit Jasper in the hospital yesterday... get well soon buddy.. see u in the office on Thurs.. been a bad bad week... is been backstabbed and lies part and parcel of life?? y can't ppl just be honest with each other?? is it that hard?? u did it once and u did it again... though its nothing compared to the first time.. its still a disappointment... and u did the ultimate by calling someone u dun even contact... i salute u.. u won the battle... u screw everything up for me knowing the importance it carries to me.. for now get out of my life... step on me ever again i'll definately bash u up till there's no tomorrow... fucking bitch!! what u have left now is ur own doing... pathetic soul...

back from home from chinatown... din eat as i'm super duper full from dinner... had a good time chatting... been a long time since i hang around with cookie and the rest (lazy to name everyone and i think only cookie reads my blog.. so put her name better... hahaha)... great catching up after hanging around with the same ppl all the time.. its time to mingle again! went to catch the Fast & Furious with Farah after dinner as we both decided its too early to go home on the ride back... hahaha...
Cookie... dun be sad k.. i think u did a great job... much better than the other keeper... keep going! Give me my 3 shots soon k... hahaha...
off to bed... tired... delta again tmr... hopefully can wake up early to wash my bike... having a headache... argh!

your presence and words never failed to settle me..
tears, pain, hurt
i need to stop bothering
i need to stop caring
i need to stop thinking about you
i have to and i MUST.....
no matter what it takes... even if i have to hurt myself real deep
(not as if the pain is not deep enough)
i will do it.... draw a deep clear line.....
if only memories can be remove...
14th July'05 to 24th May'06 shall never exist in my life again..

解脱 - 李玖哲

爱永远都是难题
失去分寸太容易
谁都是凡人不够小心翼翼
有时候忘了珍惜
伤害来的太无意
有时爱太急需要空间呼吸
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻
然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
让你哭泣对不起为了爱承受委屈
说过的承诺其实还没忘记
愈是在乎的关系愈是相处不容易
伤害了你我也失去勇气
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手
还能有什么藉口让爱再回头
多少的爱说不出口
就让时间帮我说话我一个人拼命挣扎
总比两个人一起难过还好吧
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
爱着你唯一的解脱