haven been doing much lately... busy working on presentations and projects... 2 projects to be due tomorrow... i guess i'm in a state where i can't be bothered with work... no motivation... no mood... can't be bothered... any suggestions by my boss i'll just do what i can if not fuck it... this is bad... the last time i felt this way was when i wanna quit my previous job... not this time i know i can't leave just as i wish... i need one which can pay me.... for my car and my parents and my brother's education in the future... the thought of it scares me to bits... it just seems to me that that day seems to be looming closer and i'm not the least prepared for it.... and i still dunno what i wanna do in my life... i'm living it without a direction..... and i hate it during appraisals when they always ask what are ur future plans and every single time my answer would be i dunno... it dun reflect well... but i rather be honest than shit my way to make myself impressive...

just gotten my mum a new refrigerator... she likes it.... hehe
my brother a new gameboy game...
my dad... erm... be a taxi driver for him as and when he calls even when i'm in hougang i have to drive back for him?? pass him my car when he needs it cos its raining and i get home on a bike drenched in the rain?? damn.... he still can go out when we dun have a car... but now... with the rain.. no car around he can't get out but i can??? maybe the raindrops wun hit on me...... ironic....

無 論 做 的 多 好 你 都 看 不 到
無 論 做 的 多 好 對 你 都 不 重 要
永 遠 都 在 別 人 的 背 後
我 到 底 要 做 些 什 麼 你 才 會 發 覺
有 時 覺 得 自 己 好 笨
明 知 道 是 一 快 大 石 頭 還 要 硬 硬 去 撞
你 真 的 要 我 遠 離 ﹐ 忘 了 你 嗎

sentosa for soccer and sun tanning for the weekend... been a long time since the gang hang out together.... had really good fun with good muffins! banana muffins.... yummy!!!! and the nap on the hammock is so shiok swaying with the wind..... and now i've got a nice dark tan though my parents complained i'm too dark!!!

xmas lunch today at work... did some last min shopping for xmas present on sun... gotten a mug this year... hmmm.... another one to go on wed.. this time within the division.... *prays hard i dun get a mug again* i have been getting lotsa mugs for the past few years that its still all unused..... more shopping to be done to be bought for the rest of the team since they have already gave me mine... i'm so broke broke broke!!!!

read through an email u send to me... it brought a drop of tear rolling down my face....

难道爱一个人有错吗

在一个落叶风零的秋天
遇到我一生中最爱的人
从此以后她的样子
把我整颗心灌醉
让我爱的那么汹涌那么真
多么希望她能给我一点真爱
多么希望她会过的快乐
多么希望我能给她一点点感动
可是老天却把感情捉弄
究竟我是怎么了怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有错吗
虽然爱一个人很苦
可我还渴望一点爱
我怎么了哭了吗
竟然爱她爱到那么施舍
痛的最后哭了以后也快乐
多么希望她能给我一点真爱
多么希望她会过的快乐
多么希望我能给她一点点感动
可是老天却把感情捉弄
究竟我是怎么了怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有错吗
虽然爱一个人很苦
可我还渴望一点爱
我怎么了哭了吗
竟然爱她爱到那么施舍
痛的最后哭了以后也快乐
我不想爱她却是更加思念
她欠我的怀抱何时能还吗
欠我的怀抱何时能还吗
究竟我是怎么了怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有罪吗
或多或少给点安慰
哪怕慈悲的怀抱
算了吧忘了吧
陷的越深越无法自拔
宁愿自己守着伤悲
也快乐

张韶涵-其实很爱你
离开不会太悲伤
有些心情该释放
直到眼泪它自己落下
才发现骗不了自己
其实很爱你
现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把他从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里
都会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
仿佛被你伤得好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由挽留

got back from bangkok on mon.... was a disappointing trip for me personally... feels as if i din been there at all... no tom yam soup... no shark fin... not much shopping... shall go there again to explore once more soon... communicating with the ppl there is really hard... dun understand what they say and vice versa... not even hand signs help much... hahaha...

concert with wynne on wed... blood donation today... yeah... first time doing so... painless... shall do it regularly... i like seeing the blood flow into the bag...

feels like a jerk, an asshole..... leave me alone.........

个人秘密

感觉到幸福正把你围绕
看得出做晚做梦拼命在傻笑
看着你和她爱到无可救药
我嘴角在微笑
眼眶却在发烧
你说我今天忽然不唠叨
我只好说我出门忘记带大脑
对你的感情不想让你知道
带走你的问号转身潇洒的走掉
我不想变成你的困扰
一句我爱你让你不知如何是好
多余的爱情会是苦恼
不去乞讨你的拥抱
我不想变成你的困扰
爱你是个人秘密
我会小心藏好
交会时浅浅的一个微笑
代表多少
我想你不用知道

half an hour to go before heading to the airport... just finished packing my bag... have yet to change my money... dunno how much should i even change... budget is so super tight this month... my bills are escalating that i can't even be bothered already despite the no of final reminders that they send me... living in the expense of future earned money... fuck.....

went for yinmin's dad wake last night... life is unpredictable... just the previous night i was attending her wedding dinner... never did i expect the next day this would happen... sigh...

was suppose to be a good day yesterday... one call spoiled it all... y must every conversation turns out to be an argument? is it never possible to have a proper conversation? yet another lie ... a good lie means telling a lie without getting detected... y bother lieing when the other party already knows it... maybe i'm dumb to u....but i rather choose not to expose u given ur arrogance ... sometimes u really wonder if helping ppl out is a good thing after all when u dun even get a word of thanks but yet all u get is a trashing from them... i guess thats how the meaning of words like unreasonable and unappreciative comes about....

luckily i have u by my side yesterday....u never fail to make me smile... thx for the day.... i'll miss u when i'm away.... :)